bookheaven | Entries tagged with memoir

The Paranormal Ranger: A Navajo Investigator's Search for the Unexplained by Stanley Milford Jr.

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was shocked to see see this on the library's new book shelf simply because I had no idea such a delight was in print. Stanley Milford Jr is exactly as the the title suggests, a Navajo Ranger, a member of law enforcement on the Navajo reservation.

This memoir covers the mundane law enforcement experiences and trainings Stanley underwent but as the title says that's not the end all be all or even the most important thing about the book. Yes he's law enforcement but he's also straight up Fox Mulder (with some Scully mixed in). He claims to have a healthy skepticism about UFOs and the paranormal. That said, belief in the witches known as skinwalkers is part of his culture.

Stanley describes his own encounter with what he believed to be a skinwalker as a young man. He also mixes the every day police work of man hunts, drug dealers etc with having to go out to the very remote parts of the reservation because someone's sheep has been eaten by Bigfoot. He talks about how to deal with the public in cases like this. He's seen things he can't discount like the skin walkers, UFO evidence and yes, Bigfoot evidence too.

It's a fun, fascinating read. I would love to hear Stanley talk at one of the paranormal cons as his thoughts on this (and his philosophy of life) aligns well with my own. I'm not a memoir reader but this one was well worth it if you like this sort of topic.

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Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

One of those stars is in acknowledgement that a) this is well awarded b) I hate memoirs c) this wasn't written for me. I mean it's not bad. The art is very nice but I just couldn't have cared less. This felt like she was working through something in therapy, coming to terms with a distant father who was at best a closeted gay man and at worst a groomer, preying on his students.

Given the title I thought their funeral home business would have played a larger role but this whole thing could have been told without it even being mentioned and nothing would have changed. It's also repetitive, hitting the same beats again and again as she deals with her father's potential suicide (did he jump in front of the truck or simply stumble, no one will ever know).

I'm not even sure how to deal with how pretentious it was as well, with everything compared to great literature. To a point that made sense as it was something she shared with her dad, a love of literature. But how often we went back to that (and to the whole looking things up in the dictionary cliche) made it seemed forced.

But make your own conclusions and don't base whether or not you read this queer memoir based on the cranky review of someone who only read it because of a reading challenge prompt. I wouldn't have looked at a memoir otherwise.

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Talking to My Angels by Melissa Etheridge

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I feel like three stars might be a bit generous for this barely-there memoir but a) I only read this for a reading challenge prompt as I don't like memoirs and b) apparently I backed the wrong horse in getting this in book form. Based on other reviews the audio book would have been better because she sings the lyrics and those make up like a quarter of the book. Also if there is any credence given to the other reviews here on GR, the whole first half of this book (it's 200 pages) is a rehash of her first memoir.

I didn't much enjoy reading about her mother and her sexually abusive sister but I think my biggest issue is there's no more depth to this than a puddle after a gentle rain. There's also no focus. It just skims along her life. The dust cover sets up undelivered promises about it being raw and vulnerable (no, not really) and covering the changes in the music industry, her cancer and the loss of her son. No, not really.

The most emotion I got from this was how excited she was about the 'heroic dose' of cannabis she accidentally ingested which swung wide the doors of perception (as anyone about 10 years younger than her could have attested to) and even that isn't really the focus (though the first chapter certainly suggests it's going to be). The shift to streaming barely rated a couple paragraphs. Her breast cancer a chapter (though dealing with my own recent diagnosis I can understand that and maybe it was better to just say I don't want to dwell on it and omit it entirely). Even her son Beckett takes up only the last 20-30 pages of this.

I can't escape feeling she had enough for a couple articles in a magazine and the rest was filler and song lyrics. I would have been happier sticking to her music because the only thing I really got out of this was her ex Julia blames her for everything (down to Beckett's death) , that she's really pro-cannabis and that she sees herself as wanting to be a paragon of homosexual relationships but fails to live up entirely.

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El Deafo by Cece Bell

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I rather wish the author's notes in the back were in the front of the book because it addresses something important, this whole mind set of there is only one way to be ...well, anything. There are a lot of one star reviews on this screaming 'this isn't how deaf people are' probably not even realizing the author is deaf. (and if everyone who is hearing impaired preferred it, there wouldn't be cochlear implants, one of my deaf cousins is definitely in the 'I don't need fixed' camp, his sister is not and has the implant)

So to be clear this is a memoir by a hearing impaired author who lost her hearing to meningitis in the 70s. Also in those author notes it is stated that this is fairly autobiographical with a few changes here and there. I want to go live in the sugary bubble of some of the 1 star reviewers who are all 'kids aren't mean like this.' Bull. Kids were exactly that mean. If they weren't would I have had a triggered anxiety attack during the final warm fuzzies scene where the kids make and exchange these little toys because I was the kid who made them for the entire class every time and got zero in return each and every time. 50 years hasn't been enough to forget that feeling (Luckily for GN CeCe, she does get warm fuzzies and the memoir closes on a high note).

The one thing that did bother me - only a little since this was a memoir and not fiction - was how passive Cece was BUT that's reality too even if we don't like it. While there are probably people out there who haven't imagined a better version of themselves, standing up to the bullies, I'm betting there are just as many formerly bullied people who identify with Cece Bunny as she creates an imaginary alter ego - the titular El Deafo - who not only stands up to bullies but also uses her super power to make friends and help people.

And that is the crux of this GN memoir. Cece Bunny (like the author, there's a picture at the end of her wearing it) wears a phonic ear to class and in the 70s this meant a bulky device worn under her clothes with highly visible cords going to the ear plugs. The teachers had to use a microphone around their necks so CeCe could understand them (loudness isn't key here, definition of syllables is). Cece learns she can hear the teachers everywhere including the bathroom (of which she never tells anyone for the longest time).

And this is where the 1 star reviewers had their issues. Cece prefers this device and lip reading to sign language which becomes a point of contention.

It also revolves around a few key people in Cece's life, her first friend post-hearing loss who is utterly bossy. Things are fine so long as Cece is doing what she wants (I have no idea how some reviewers thought this was impossible. I need both hands to count up all the people exactly like this who have been in my life) The next friend is someone whose mom becomes friends with Cece's and this girl is okay but constantly refers to Cece as 'my deaf friend' and speaks very slowly and loudly trying to help (which is a hindrance to lip readers) though I did wish she could have found the strength to say something to her. And then came Margaret who accepts Cece as she is until an accident causes issue. We also have the boy who becomes her first crush who wanted her to use the phonic ear to spy on the teacher so they could goof off when she was out of the room.

The reason I didn't five star this as the pacing was a bit off and there was a bit of repetition. Other than that, I think this is a good illustration of how there are many ways to be deaf (or whatever else you'd like to put in here. Humans are not homogenous groups)

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Making It So: A Memoir by Patrick Stewart

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I rarely read memoirs but it was a popsugar prompt and I needed something to read during my cancer surgery recovery. This shone across the library from me and you know the rest. Had to have it. I'm coming into this as a big Sir Pat fan from his stances on helping people out of domestic violence situations and helping rescue animals to his roles as Picard, Xavier, Scrooge and various Shakespearean characters. Obviously I was primed to love this but the truth of it is, Sir Pat writes as well as he acts.

One of the things I especially appreciated was this is not salacious or completely self aggrandizing. Yes, we learn his father was abusive and the vestiges of that are still there 80 years later. Yes he's been married three times (divorced twice) but he doesn't dwell on any of that. All I really know even know is Sheila, his first wife and mother of his children, was a stage performer too (Dance) and his choice to do Star Trek and live half of his time in LA put a strain on the marriage and broke it. He's honest about cheating but all of it is without details we don't really need. I know less about his second wife and more about his current wife, Sunny. His relationship with his children is strained too (especially the daughter) but again nothing it dwelt on or feels tawdry.

This memoir is about his acting life first and foremost, literally 95% of it is about that and the relationship/friendship stuff is the rest. And that's what I was there for. He starts in his earliest days and we do learn quite a bit about how poor he was growing up and how early he took to the stage. If there is one thing good to say about his father it was he didn't stand in the way of this career. Another thing Sir Pat is honest about are bouts of imposter syndrome and anxiety that I think a lot of creatives will relate to.

As Sir Pat is around my parents' age and I'm the same age as his son Daniel, I never would have had the chance to know his Royal Shakespeare Company days (and wished he'd done a little more for film of Shakespeare) but would have liked too. I know him, of course, first as Jean-Luc (still my favorite captain though it's a tight race to the top) and then Charles Xavier. Sir Pat brought some of my favorite characters to life and I'm thankful for it. This memoir showed me how close none of that came to happening (I feel a little sorry for him that Roddenbury never seemed to warm to him).

I was glad I read this during my recovery. It was like getting to spend the time with an old friend.

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Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began by Art Spiegelman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This one is even harder on the heart than the first and not just because it takes place inside of Auschwitz. The present day agita and angst between Vladek and his son (and his second wife) is rough (especially when Art finds out what really happened to his mother's diaries). The scene with Vladek trying to return opened goods to the grocery store sticks with me (because I've seen that in action personally).

What can you possibly say about this? It's horrific in every sense of the word, made more so because you know it's a true accounting (no matter that it's being told via mice men). Your heart shatters for Vladek and every other Jewish person who were taken to these camps, brutalized and murdered. What took me by surprise is what happened after the camps were shut down. What little I got in history class way back when was basically the allies liberated the camps and huzzah, everything was all right. Of course it wasn't. Not even close. I knew that much but didn't realize just how uprooted (and often still unwanted) these people were.

The thing that really brought me to tears though was (minor spoiler alert) the inclusion of Vladek's actual picture from Auschwitz. It made it so much more real. It's not even the most terrifying pictures I've seen from Auschwitz but getting this after his story slams it home all the pain and suffering he went through.

Read this. It's banned because there are those who want us to forget. Read this.

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Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History (Maus, #1)

Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History by Art Spiegelman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have put this off for so long because there is only so much heart break I can take but now I'm furious. The flimsiest of reasons to ban this book (as if it hides their anti-semitism) had me seeking after it (probably from every library I can to make a point). The story is every bit as hard as you might expect it to be, being a story of the Jews in Nazi-era Poland.

Vladek Spielgeman is the survivor from Auschwitz who is relating the story to his son, Art, who is a graphic novelist/illustrator. It is a moving, tragic story within a story, first the historical backdrop of late 30-early 40s Poland but also the story of father and son and how they don't always, or at all, get along. Understandably Vladek is not an easy man to get along with, his trauma showing in hundreds of small ways.

The story (using mice for the Jews and cats for the Nazis and pigs for the christian Polish folk) starts when Vladek is young, building himself a future and even frankly discussing the two women he was with, one of whom he married and later became Art's mother. It's a story of their extended family and of Richlieu, Art's brother and parents' first child. We bear witness to the slow decline in how the Jews were treated, how and why more alarms weren't sounded and how hard it is to flee these troubled times. By the time things were visibly so awful it was too late.

Not only did Vladek, Anja (his wife) and the rest of the family face persecution, there is the breaking of the family as first the elderly were targeted, then the sick and so on. You feel the fear of parents trying to send away their children hopefully to safety. The various city-interment camps that came before Auschwitz, the hiding, the starvation, the wondering who could you trust.

Each chapter is framed with Vladek and Art frictioning along now that Vladek is an old sick man. There are deep scars on both men. The art still manages to be heart rending even if these art anthropomorphized mice.

This volume ends with Vladek and Anja being separated (as all men and women were) when a betrayal sends them to Auschwitz.

This book should not be banned anywhere. Is it hard and ugly? Of course it is. History IS. We can't keep pretending things didn't happen as they did. We can't learn from history if we hide it. Nothing is hidden in this and the vulnerability of Vladek and Art both are the heart of this story.

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